The Toilet Tubbies & The Magic Chocolate
by Mog Anarchy
Summary: It’s just another normal day for Stinky Winky… Until he finds the magic chocolate! A lot of toilet humor in this thing! You have been warned... Hee hee.
1. Morning Flush

**The Toilet-Tubbies & The Magic Chocolate**

**Mog Anarchy**

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**A/N: As you probably can tell by the title - this contains an overabundance of toilet humour! What can I say… I have a warped and easily amused mind! **

**(BTW, An Anti-Teletubbies fan fiction!) (Don't read this if you don't like toilet-humour! I'm really serious!)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teletubbies! The Toilet-Tubbies were a parody created by ME - Mog Anarchy! Yay!**

_**- Dixie Stonehall**_

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**One**

One day in the stagnant brown swamp of Toilet-Tubby-Land, Stinky-Winky had just finished reading his 'Tubby-Daily' newspaper (which was all written like a four-year old, as all four of the Toilet-Tubbies had a very low I.Q, and didn't even know that Rabbits were not to be used as toilet roll…) and he had just taken the last bite from his Toilet-Tubbies custard on toast (which was basically baked beans with purple food colouring in it on a piece of mouldy bread) and he was now getting up to take a big shit.

But he couldn't today. Dumpsy was stuck in there with constipation, and he wasn't moving now; he'd been sat in there for the past two hours, drawing crude caricatures on the toilet roll.

"Get the hell outta there!" Stinky-Winky screamed, pounding the living hell out of the door wildly. "I gotta take a big shit! An' if you don't get outta there, YOU can be the one to clean the skid-marks outta my wonderful purple suit!"

"Get lost, crapbag! I ain't moving my wonderfully seated ass now, I've only just got comfy!" Dumpsy replied. Stinky-Winky then went to say something back, but he was drowned out by Dumpsy's violent sounds of excursion and loud screams of pain.

Stinky-Winky turned slowly and shuffled along to the other bathroom. It was locked, and a notice in red writing was pinned to the door. It read "Out of order - clogged with crap - be fixed soon - The Poo-Poo."

Stinky-Winky screamed with pain and shuffled back along to the bathroom that was being used by Dumpsy.

"Get your clogged ass offa that toilet! I really gotta take a shit!" He screamed through the keyhole. But Dumpsy just smiled to himself, and began singing 'My Heart Will Go On.'

Stinky-Winky held his stomach tightly, in an attempt to weaken the pain. This was a big mistake - it loosened his bowels instead…

Stinky-Winky screamed with terror and ran to the front door of their crappy little shack, clutching his backside tightly with his chubby hands. He dashed behind the shack, towards the wooden outhouse. As soon as he opened the door, caught a glimpse and a whiff of what was actually in there - he didn't need telling twice that he wouldn't be using it.

He roared with rage, slammed the door shut, and ran. He was now, very literally 'touching cloth'. His bug-eyes bulged with fright, and he dashed across the creaky wooden bridge, reached the first bush and he smiled with relief.

Five minutes later, Stinky-Winky skipped happily back to the shack. His two sisters Blah-Blah and Poo were sat around the table reading a high-fibre cookbook - both wondering what they could make Dumpsy to make him and his tummy feel better.

"Hi you two."

"Hi Stinky."

The Toilet-Tubbies all lived together, four siblings in a cardboard shack in the middle of a sewage-filled swamp that was infested with mutant rabbits. Stinky-Winky was the oldest, he was very tall - so tall that he had to bob his head when he used the bathroom; or he'd hit his head on the ceiling. He was the one who the others looked up to the most; he also always won the contest to see who could fart the best. Dumpsy was the second oldest, lime green and slightly shorter than Stinky-Winky. The two sisters were Blah-Blah and Poo. - Poo being the youngest, and the cutest. She was also so small - she was the one who always had to crawl into the sewage duct and unblock the toilet.

They had all helped to assemble a blue robot Vacuum-like monster, who they named the Poo-Poo. It enjoyed eating waste the best, and it's favourite pastime was licking the toilet bowl - it helped to clean it, and it kept him quiet for a while.

The two sisters then suddenly jumped up; both of them talking very fast about their plans. Then they both ran out of the door, taking Stinky-Winky's red handbag.

"Oi! I need that! They won't let me into that club… You gotta _look_ bent, if you want 'em to let you in!"

But they'd already gone, along with his money. Stinky-Winky swore furiously, kicking the table with rage. Then he gave up, and picked up his headphones from the sideboard. He was going to listen to his favourite singer - Hilary Guff; who sang along to her songs with her backside as well as her mouth!

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	2. Malfunctioning Robot!

**Two**

"_Have you ever seen such a beautiful shite…  
I could almost kiss your arse,  
That's shinning so bright…  
When I hear you farting,  
I go: oh, oh, oh…  
I would never want to miss, this coz in my fart,  
I know what piss is!"_

Stinky-Winky took off his headphones, and went over to the window, still humming his Hilary Guff songs. Upon a hill outside was a windmill, lazily slotted together, made from scrap iron that the Tubbies had found on the scrap heap. It span stupidly at random times, sometimes signifying blocked drains. It was still today. Stinky-Winky stared at it for a few moments, trying to ignore the noise that Dumpsy was still making in the bathroom.

Then he saw two round, coloured blobs running up the hill towards the shack. One was red, the other yellow. His two sisters were back; both of them looking very happy with themselves.

Then he heard the sound of angry metal clanking and crashing against itself. He turned around quickly, and was almost knocked backwards by the Poo-Poo robot, who was racing manically towards the front door.

It was making loud sounds of malfunctioning, and several bolts were flying from its bodywork.

Stinky-Winky sighed, and began chasing it - he didn't want to have to scrape dead rabbits from the paintwork like last time.

"What's going on!" Poo said anxiously, as she saw the Poo-Poo flying out of the door with Stinky-Winky on it's tail. (Even though it had no tail… Just an expression…)

"Stupid thing's been eating those Toilet Duck tablets again!" Stinky panted. "I gotta catch it, before it starts killing things again!"

And with that, Stinky dashed off in the direction of the outhouse; trying to stop the enraged Poo-Poo.

Blah-Blah and Poo rolled their eyes, then both burst into a fit of giggling. Then they skipped happily arm-in-arm into the shack.

"Dumpsy!" Poo called.

"We got you what you wanted!" Blah-Blah said, finishing her sister's sentence. (As they often did.)

Dumpsy appeared in the doorway, his trousers around his knees. He took their offering, broke it in half and then retreated back into the bathroom.

Blah-Blah took the remains, and placed it on a shelf, above the magic sponges that were set in the wall. (These sponges could clean up any type of excrement - and still smell like lemons!)

Around half an hour later, Blah-Blah and Poo were watching each other's T.V. (All Tubbies had T.V screens implanted in their stomachs - caused by a genetic mutation. - Either that, or their mom had been very naughty with their T.V…) Blah-Blah was watching Delia Whiff, a famous chef, who often made meals from baked beans and other gassy foods… Poo however, was watching the new music videos for the Poo Fighters, and Bowling for Poop - her two all time favourite metal bands.

Dumpsy finally emerged from the bathroom, a huge grin on his face.

"Thanks fer the stuff girls; worked like magic, it did!"

"Glad to hear it!" Said Blah-Blah, trying not to remove her gaze from her sister's tummy.

"Well den, I'm off for my usual stroll." (Dumpsy had a habit of wandering around the swamp for hours on end, usually walking aimlessly, coming back and tracking mud.) He walked over to the hat stand, and took down his black and white spotted hat. He'd made it when his Dalmatian had died, he didn't want to have it stuffed, so he took it to the haberdashery instead. The other Tubbies said this was mean and cruel, but Dumpsy took no notice. Blah-Blah had even once tried to flush it down the toilet, but it had clogged, and flooded the shack - this caused a storm and a half with Stinky-Winky. Dumpsy set out for his walk, and began humming a song by Cistern of a Down; another metal band the Tubbies were fans of.

After a very long time, Stinky-Winky finally returned, dragging the Poo-Poo robot back into the shack with a rope around it's head. He'd turned it onto shut-down; and he would have to spend a good few hours trying to repair it.

His two sisters were taking an afternoon nap - both of them snoring loudly from the far corner of the shack.

Stinky was fed up, he'd had a bad morning, and now a bad afternoon. He sighed deeply; then went over to the shelf and picked up a bar of chocolate.

"At least this won't do any harm…" He said to himself, as he took a huge bite and crunched it loudly.

But he was wrong…

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	3. The Ass Explosion

**Three**

Stinky-Winky looked out of the rusty metal-framed windows of their shack. Perched upon the top of a hill was a rusted windmill - that often span randomly - sending orange sparks flying everywhere; and anyone who was unlucky enough to get in the way, would find themselves with shards of rust embedded in their eyeballs.

Whenever the windmill span - all four Tubbies would gather on the hill, and dance in a stupid way - the sight of their waddling and bouncing tummies would often nauseate the rabbits who surrounded. Then they would all choose a Tubby - usually by swamp wrestling, to stand up and use their genetic mutant powers to broadcast some crappy T.V show from the mid seventies. The windmill was beginning to spin now.

Stinky Winky raised his middle finger at it. "Yeah, screw you spinner!" He growled. "I am not sitting through another hour of 'Dance Fever' like last night!"

Then there was a deafening roar, echoing around the room. Stinky-Winky was puzzled - the swamp was only home to rabbits and cockroaches… No tigers. Then it roared again, louder this time - and Stinky-Winky realised it was coming from his own stomach.

"What the-"

But he didn't finish; the disgusting sound of a slimy shart was heard, as several sprays of projectile crap shot from his behind and quickly filled his underwear.

Now Stinky-Winky had 'Dance-Fever', as he shuffled around awkwardly - trying not to let any of the contained slime escape and trickle down his legs, as it was attempting to do.

"Awww shit!" He cried, clutching his stomach tightly as another wet fart erupted from his bowels. "I dunno what the hell was in that toast… But-"

He screamed as it started yet again. Now he realised he needed to plant his bloated ass on a toilet seat, and fast.

He scuttled over to the now free bathroom - clutching the bottoms of his trousers to stop the liquid from escaping and cascading onto the floor. He pushed the door with his forehead, and gingerly stepped inside as the door creaked open.

"Oh F-" He gasped, as the most foul sight he'd ever witnessed filled his eyes. Dumpsy had re-painted the porcelain in a shade of green-yellow-brown and practically every colour imaginable. To make matters worse - it was sprayed all over the seat, the reserve tank… And even the walls and floors of the small room. Stinky-Winky didn't need telling twice that he wouldn't be utilising the relief facilities of that particular crapper.

So, painfully - he shuffled around carefully, and made his way outside - his pants almost overflowing by this time.

The outside scene that greeted him was not a pretty one either. The rain was thundering down, denting the marshland surrounding the shack. The thunder was roaring almost as loud as Stinky-Winky's tummy, and the wind made it very difficult to stand up.

Stinky realised this as an enormous gust blew his off balance, and he fell flat on his back across the muddy ground.

In an attempt to re-compose himself, he let go of his trouser legs - and stupidly relaxed the muscles in his butt. This was a big mistake. Stinky yelled as his curry from last night exploded from his behind in a scorching hot rush that burned his ass cheeks, and ran all down his legs and onto the floor.

He jumped up, and sprinted across to the nearest tree, leaving a trail from his trousers behind him.

Around ten metres later, he reached a tree. Not a very good choice - it had hardly any branches, so no protection from the rain. Its trunk was gnarled, not ideal for gripping your hands to, and there were no leaves to relieve himself with afterwards.

Stinky was so desperate, he had no other option.

He forcefully removed his befouled suit and his molten underwear, and let it fly up the side of the tree. He smiled to himself as the remains left him calmly, sliding smoothly along. Then a wave of ice cold fear swept over him, as the fire crap started to fly out, splattering everywhere - over the tree, the ground and his own feet.

The heat was so intense, the bark of the tree was beginning to shrivel up.

His legs became weak, and his knees shook hard as even more left his colon. It gave him the impression of a fire-hose throwing up a volcano, complete with sharp rocks that scratched hard.

Then, one final perfect turd slowly slipped out and tumbled onto the ground. Stinky smiled. His ordeal was over.

And with that, his legs gave way, and he slide down the tree, landing directly down into the puddle of crap - and fainted.

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**Dixie: Heh, that was making me feel pretty sick myself. Oh no! That extra-spicy bean burrito I ate last night is having revenge! (Farts loudly) Uh-oh… Umm, I'll be right back!**

**Evil Espeon: Hee hee, I always knew it would be a good idea to pour liquid ex-lax into Dixie's Coke. Ah, Espeon, you amaze even me.**

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**Look out for a sequel - Coming 2008!**

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End file.
